Alone in the night

Alone in the night
I shine bright,
Reaching heights of the light.
I am alone but I light
The night.
Alone in the night.

It’s been sometime that you saw me bright,
Alone in the night.
I crackle with sounds
But you’ll never know what lies behind those sounds.
I grow bigger with might
With the winds blowing tight.
Alone in the night

There are loads to hear
Loads to cheer,
Its dark why fear.
I’ll keep you warm,
I’ll keep you strong
Alone in the night

The flames are bright
They fly like kite
Reaching the height of the light
Alone in the night
I shine bright.

Miss The Missing

Missing, what do you really mean by it? The dictionary meaning says “absent, something not being there”. Is it just that, well somewhere nobody really knows? Life keeps throwing its googlies and suddenly while defending yourself from those, one forgets to miss the important things that we have in our lives. Actually some don’t even know what’s important. We get lost in the rigmaroles of life and forget the most important thing, Experiencing LIFE, experiencing the importance of people in them, appreciating them, living with them. We forget to miss, we say it realize it what we actually miss.

Missing, a strong word and irreplaceable feeling. Sometimes we don’t realize how important someone is till the time the person is actually missing. The void, yes when you feel there is a void because of someone then you surely are MISSING. Most of the times we forget to say it out loud. Most of the times there is no point in saying it out loud coz it’s too late. Most of the time you can just say it but nothing will happen, because you and only you are there to experience the feeling. The person concerned is gone, gone forever. It’s imperative that we realize how important life is and the people in them. It’s imperative that we appreciate their existence; we tell them how important they are. How the mere presence of them in our lives makes a difference. Its imperative that we live life, we experience it and tell them how wonderful it is to miss them but how very IMPORTANT it is that they come back because life as we know is not the same without them.

I MISS YOU, I miss you all…… I know I can’t fill the entire void that has been created but I know you can still avoid having any. SO always remember to
Miss The Missing.

Life does take a 360 degree turn

Staring at the sky today tried to think if the Mumbai sky was any different from My Delhi Sky. But didn’t find any difference, the skies were the same. But today my life isn’t the same. A smile just crossed my face thinking of all that I’ve experienced in the past two months, how my life has changed totally. I’ve heard people say my life took a 360 degree turn. I honestly never understood this line, but today I know. From Delhi to Mumbai, from living in the posh south Delhi C. R. Park to living in the suburbs of Mumbai in a place called Kalyan,from traveling for just 20 minutes for work to traveling 5 hours in the day, from driving my own car to traveling in trains, from the comfort and security of my own vehicle to the bruises and push-pull methodology of the trains, from jhal muri, ghugi to sukha bhel and vada pav, from friends to random strangers. Life has really taken 360 degrees turn.From being the elder daughter to the sole bread earner and the head of the family. Never thought I would grow up so fast in just two months.

November which was meant to be one of the stepping stones for my life became a month
which well gave the most devastating news for life, My Dad Having CANCER. Honestly
I never thought I’ll ever write about this but today when I pen down my pain and
struggle I just realized that there might be many more like me struggling in a life which is totally black. From living a life of sunshine, pleasures and delight to a life which is so uncertain and impossible that sometimes I really think it’s just a bad dream and soon it would be over. But well its life and it always takes its own course. You just have to flow in its waves.

In this year where everyone is making resolutions and aiming for new goals, aspiring
for new hopes and looking forward for a better life. I too like others thought of making some but then realized that today life is not allowing me to dream. Today life is making me take the biggest challenge that it could offer. Today when I look at the unknown sky, I know it’s not different but I also know that it’s not mine. In an unknown city with strangers I am fighting the biggest battle of my life. Yes, I do become hopeless once in a while; yes I do feel that I won’t be able to do this anymore. But then again I’ve fought this for so long; I know I can win this.

But the doubts, yes the uncertainties everything lies around. Will there be light again, will I be able to win this battle.......

DURGA PUJO – comes in every year to bring in the gift of life.

~ Sondher Aalo te, Misti Hashi, Ekta Sugran, Shankho Dhwani Te Bore Eelo Ma’er pran
Ponchami er bela te, mon ta ma’er jone osthir hoye othee.

Today, is panchami, as the Bengali community gears up to welcome the mighty Durga Ma, this year too would be special just like others. I’ve learnt with whatever little experience I have of living the grand festival that each Durga pujo brings in something new to life, a meaning or even a new beginning. Every time when Ma comes she brings in a miracle for everybody. For some it’s the sheer joy of celebrating this epic festival with families and friends, for some it’s the reconnect with the holy deity, some enjoy the glamour and the grandeur associated with it, some the simplicity, some are bowled over with the appearance of Durga ma, and some just lose themselves in her devotion. The list goes on.

But with years I’ve realized whenever Ma comes she brings in a small gift, at least that how I see it. Be it be strength to live a new life or the experience of the mystical Shimla Durga badi, the manifestation of the seed of photography or the realization of being responsible, gift of hosts of friends, the memoirs of those four-five days, adda and cha at 2.00am in the morning, sitting on chairs, saying nothing at all , dozing off but still not heading home, reuniting with school and college mates, surprises about their lives and realizing so much time has gone by yet the friendship continues like the fragrance of sandalwood. The long lists of dresses, what to wear when, coordinating with friends making sure no two people turn up in the same dress, hanging out in large groups and becoming the central point of discussion for the people around, trying out food from every stall, serving bhog, returning at 4 in the evening to step out at 7 again. No rest, no sleep just adda and fun. Underlying this lies the hidden facts of forgiving enemies, meeting lost friends, making new ones, starting new relationships, planting new memoirs, looking at your past as a bad dream and stepping forward for the new one, waking up everyday with the fragrance of Ma, dressing to welcome her, bowing in front of her with folded arms and feeling her warmth and love filling up your soul. Souls getting cleansed with the aroma of dhunochi and the melody of the dhak. Dancing for Ma, to express your affection, slowly losing yourself in the devotion, losing you rhythm, your rhyme to her song. The feeling of losing yourself to ma is so effervescent and enormous; it’s difficult to describe it in words. The glow and the aura makes you speechless, it’s divine.

Durga Pujo comes every year to bring in the gift of life with dhak er awaaz, dhunochi er sugran, misti khawa, sidhur khela.. And many more. Durga Pujo was special every year; let’s see what Ma how Ma makes it special this year.

The lonely road, not so lonely anymore.....

It’s been sometime that I’ve walked the lonely road. Set amongst the millions of colonies in Delhi, the road seems ordinary, starting from a bent leading to another world. By the looks it is a regular road. Enduring the test of time, some would say it sure is never lonely. Surely it might sound a little absurd that a road can be lonely. But if someone decides to meet the road post 8’o’clock, it’s a different story. Lined by variety of houses on one side, some big, some small, some has children some has songs, some has memories and some just stand along. Lined with trees on the other side, trees which become his pals, trees which help him play; trees which make him feel less lonely. As you walk along the road, the silence of the night might surprise you. The night, a very silent and peaceful night, displaying the songs of the stars and the dance of the moon. Together with the road I notice the changing tempo of the glamorous performance of the heavens. A performance which takes place everyday, but we are so busy in our lives that we hardly get to notice it. It was as if it was just done for the road. To bring up that smile, to make it feel loved, to make it less lonely.

The road welcomes each and everyone with open arms every morning. Wanting nothing in return. Cars, scooters pass over, dogs laze around. It plays the game of hide-and-seek with the shadows of the trees. Moring is always fun, with people bustling with the joy of life, but it’s the night which becomes lonely. As the road waits for someone.

As I walk passed the trees mesmerized with its story. A thought crossed my mind; today the lonely road wasn’t really lonely. I was there, there to share the mystical experiences of the night, there to listen to its whining bright, there to acknowledge the beauty of it all shinning bright.

The lonely road, not so lonely anymore.

2nd Bengali Poem.. TUMIIIIIIIIIIII

Tumi hain tumi..
Tomay jaani ki aami ?
Khothaye tumi ?
Ke tumi ?
Tomay jaani ki aami?
Koto kotha
Koto dukho
Tomaye sobh bolte eecha kore
Kintu..
Tomay jaani ki aami ?

Roj aalo aasche, kintu tumi toh aascho na..
Roj hawa chole, kintu tumi toh aascho noye..
Keno tomay dekte eecha hoye ?
Keno tumi noye ?
Tumi hain tumi..
Tomaye ki jaani aami ?

Chobita puro noye..
Aakash ta shoboj hoye
Kintu
Tomaye dekte eecha hoye
Keno tumi nai
Keno tomaye dekte eecha hoye
Tumi hain tumi..
Tomaye ki jaani aami ?

Delhi Rains....

Rains, some of us like it some of us can’t stand it. But one thing which nobody can avoid is the beauty of it. Yes, true if stuck in knee deep water accompanied with an hour long jam then the beauty is not that beautiful though. Yes, yes I agree they can be a pain but what to do sometimes its fun to enjoy the pain too.

Today, the rain drops looked like hungry children screaming for food... falling on the puddle in front, one couldn't stop noticing the beauty of it. Dark clouds making rumbling noises, the crazy wind blowing everything possible, the dust that makes you squint, the smell of the ground and yet again that smile when the first drop touches you. Smile indeed, thinking and wishing if that one special one was with you to enjoy that feeling, to hold your hand, dance with you, crazy smile and laugh at you looking at that wet pony, that incredible mad hair style, then suddenly holding you up in their arms and giving you that most amazing hug. Or maybe cuddling in each others arms and watching the rain fall, making paper boats and dropping them from your balcony for them to float...or just standing alone and feeling every drop touch your soul to refresh you to the core.

So many things so many moments so many splashes, so many drops, noises around, lots of music... But the best is with your family with hot cup of coffee or tea and hot yummy pakoras yummmmm.

Enjoy every bit of life you never know maybe it’s the last drop that falls on you...........HAPPY RAINS